Yeah, that’s never going to happen.
Here’s the thing – I almost wish it would. Part of me wants to be a vegetarian. I watch movies like Vegucated. I read about famous people who are going to Twitter their vegan journey. But then I watch a comedian like Jim Gaffigan, and he tells a joke that is me. “I’m a vegetarian, but not a strict vegetarian. I eat beef and pork. And chicken. But not fish.”
Every time I say I want to go vegetarian, I forget. I go to an Italian place and order a meatball sub. I eat a few salads, and then crave a steak. I can’t imagine eating tempeh or seitan or any of those other proteins that remind me of snot. (Sure, I like tofu, when it’s fried…but I’m not sure that really is much healthier for me than any of the unhealthy “meat” options I like.)
And the biggest problem of them all – I’m not meant to be a vegetarian. I’m a predator. My eyes are in front. I’m meant to hunt, and not just vegetables. My teeth tell me I’m an omnivore. They aren’t meant for just eating fruit and veg.
Now, I’m not saying that I don’t pay attention to what I eat, and that I don’t try to always make sure I’m buying the most “friendly” food possible, but I just can’t imagine not eating meat. Or eggs. Or cheese.
So please, no hatred of my non-vegan ways. I don’t buy furs. But I buy leather. I buy eggs from cage-free hens. I refuse to eat veal. But give me a steak any day.