Uncategorized

Things I’ve Noticed During This Trip to Tampa (Another Experimental Blog)

1. My tolerance level for middle-aged men who think they’ve figured out the world and art and are lords and masters of all they survey is…nil.

2. I’m not very good at hiding #1.

Image

3. I’m not really bothered by #2.

4. The Baptist church on the corner had three Christmas trees and three boxes for said Christmas trees sitting out in the lobby last Friday (the 3rd) and Saturday (the 4th).
The trees had already been stripped of all decoration.
But come Sunday morning (the 5th), when it was time for services, I peered into the lobby and the trees were still there but the boxes had been hidden.
By Monday afternoon (the 6th), the trees had also vanished, but on the table in the middle of the room, a box had appeared.
It reminded me of a dibbuk box.

5. “The Princess Bride” and “Raiders of the Lost Ark” were both on TV.  And they both share the same fatal flaw.
Sort of.

6. The park across the street from the Baptist church is attractive to photographers.
There was a family taking baby pictures on a blanket.
A wedding party taking posed shots.
A group of photographers who stood in the park and took pictures across the busy street of the side of the church.
(I still don’t know why they were taking pictures of the church, but I think I may have been in some of those shots…)

7. Everyone lives their own reality.
Not all those realities are real.

8. “Great literature” is capable of producing horniness, if it’s “great” enough.

9. People who are well-educated aren’t necessarily smart or open-minded or even well-educated.

10. Walking over the drawbridge at night is extremely nerve-wracking because there are lights beneath it that illuminate the water through the metal grate, convincing me that there is metal fatigue which will result in the walk-way collapsing and me drowning in shallow water with two broken legs.

Image

11. Writers are either too full of self-worth or too full of self-loathing.
Sometimes both.

12. The entire first floor of the hotel has no guests in its rooms.
The doors are all latched open and have notes about what needs to be fixed.
The first floor is where the laundry room is, next to the staff elevator.
The staff elevator has an “R” button.  I think it stands for “Roof” because there is no rear entrance/exit in the elevator.
I want to push the “R” button and see where I go.

Image13. There is a coke machine on the same floor as my hotel room that has a large “Calories Count” sign.
Each drink’s button has a calorie count.
The coke machine down on the first floor does not have the sign.
I have tried to not take the sign personally, but I have failed.

Image14. On the sidewalk someone has erected a sign that has some sort of approval on the back from the Florida Highway Something…
On the front of the sign, it says “DRIVE SAFELY” and “In Memory of Christopher ‘Mole Man’ Cook.”
But the sign is placed so that people on the sidewalk can’t read it without stepping into the street.
And it’s so small that people on the road would have to swerve very close to read it.
So I wonder if Mole Man is trying to get people killed.

15. Taking sugar packets from the hotel restaurant so I can make coffee up in my room makes me feel like an old woman stocking her pantry from a diner.

16. Falk Theatre has a balcony!
And the seats are mega-more comfortable.

17. I have no problem accepting rides from others when the temperature is 40 or less.

18. I miss actually attending yoga classes.

19. I’m totally judgmental.
But only when people deserve it.

20. Being exposed to all these things is inspirational.
And fun.
And off-putting.
And discouraging.

Uncategorized

Does University of Phoenix have a foot fetish?

Time to make the donuts...I mean, change my socks!
Time to make the donuts…I mean, change my socks!

I’m a University of Phoenix alum (2003, BS in Information Technology), and a few years ago, I briefly taught for Axia College (a subset of U of P). It didn’t work out for me – it wasn’t a good fit – and I took an extended leave of absence from adjuncting for them for reasons I won’t go into in this blog. But the point is, the last time I taught a class for them was in 2011.

So you can understand my shock and surprise when I not only received one of the “Faculty Matters” magazines, but also a pair of socks. Yes, socks.

Socks!
Socks!

And not just any socks. According to the back of the magazine, they’re part of the “lucky socks” TV ad.

But wait – there’s more!

The envelope they came in says, “A new year, a new pair of socks.” Which worries me for a reasons. First, does that imply that they believe their faculty members only change their socks once a year? Second, it’s the middle of March! The new year started over 60 days ago. If I’d really been waiting on these socks as part of the new year, my feet would either be really dirty, really cold, or both.

And just to finish this on a high note, my husband, who also has been and currently is teaching there and is also currently enrolled there as a student, did *not* receive either the magazine or the socks.

Perhaps this is a bribe to get me to come back? Or perhaps it’s like when, after laying me off, another university sent me a mug full of chocolates and a “thank you for all you do.” (And those chocolates went straight into the trash…I didn’t fancy finding out if they were part of my “severance package” in a bad way.)