I’m an asshole

judge ornament - morguefile - davidpwhelanI caught myself being one of those people

You know what I mean, right?

Those people?

That’s right.

I caught myself being an asshole.

I was at Target. I was in a hurry. And Target – being Target on a school day around 2 p.m. when all the moms are trying to buy their groceries before their kids invade their houses again – well, Target was overwhelmed and understaffed.

In front of me was a woman, cart full of baby stuff. She had a super-nice Michael Kors bag, and she was using a WIC card to buy her baby stuff.

I jumped to the conclusion that she didn’t deserve the bag, that if she had the money for the bag, why was she on WIC?

Okay, I told myself. Maybe it was a gift. Maybe she got it from a thrift store. Maybe… Well, maybe it wasn’t my business in any way, shape, or form.

Just because she is getting help doesn’t mean she doesn’t deserve some fun and some luxuries. It doesn’t mean that she should be punished and constantly struggling.

Why shouldn’t she buy a Michaels Kors purse? Why shouldn’t she buy Starbucks? Why shouldn’t she buy fancy dinners at steakhouses?

She isn’t any less worthy than anyone else.

If I could assume that she didn’t “deserve” her purse, why couldn’t I instead assume that she did “deserve” it?

Why couldn’t I assume that she worked hard – maybe harder than me and everyone else I knew – and that she was just screwed over by life? 

I hope she uses her WIC for all those necessary purposes and spends some of her income on nice things for herself. I hope she has a fun night out. I hope she has a good, reliable car that she doesn’t need to worry about. I hope she can take days off work and go to the beach, bring her daughter or sons or daughters and sons.

I hope that other people aren’t assholes like I was, and I hope that if they are, that they catch themselves, too, and that they remind themselves that it isn’t their business, either. 


Do Not Fuck With Me…I am literally myself.

The awesomest Cards Against Humanity happening ever...and my FB cover photos...
The awesomest Cards Against Humanity happening ever…and my FB cover photos…

Not too long ago, I applied for a few little part time writing/editing jobs. Nothing big, just something to try to pay a few bills, stuff I can do from home. Nothing that required any sort of security clearance or background checks. Nothing, I thought, that would really call my personal life into question.

Here’s the thing – I’m pretty open about what I think and what I do. You can check my Facebook page, my blogs, my tweets…it’s all out there. I don’t pretend to be what I’m not. I have a blog called Crazy Ass Feminist, for Christ’s sake! And, for a while, I was selling sex toys. Not shy.

So I sent in my resume for a job. And I got a response. All identifying info has been withheld…

“I am going to be absolutely honest. When I received your resume I was SO excited. I was ready to bring you on until I examined it further and saw that your website URL is www.fromtheasylum.com (not exactly a professional title and quite bothersome to be honest). From there I navigated to your Facebook page and other social media links and due to the profane language in your Facebook banner and other sexual-related content that is posted publicly on your wall, as well as being a consultant for Passion Parties, I am not comfortable with you representing our [company]. I say this with all respect. I know many companies just say, “you didn’t get the job,” or “we found a more qualified candidate,” or some don’t even reply at all. I wanted to be transparent with you about why you did not get the position. Your credentials are incredible! Seriously. By being honest, I’m hoping that this will increase your chances when applying for future opportunities.”

Wow. Just wow.

I scared her off by being me.

On one hand, I wanted to reply and say, “Oh, thank goodness you warned me! I had no idea that From the Asylum was ‘bothersome’ and that I shouldn’t cuss in public! I have seen the light! I will turn myself right around and stop doing things that other people might object to!”

Of course, I didn’t do that. Mostly because I was pretty damn happy that I had scared her off. Clearly, this was not a job that I would want to do. If someone is turned off by something as tame as From the Asylum and horrified by my profane language and sexual content…well, that is not someone I’m going to get along with.

I don’t need to be something I’m not. I don’t need to pretend. And I don’t need to work with people that look down on what I believe in or what I do.