Scary clowns are even scarier when their heads pop off…

Lego Pen - Only Kind of Scary So Far...
Lego Pen – Only Kind of Scary So Far…

I’m addicted to pens.  Who isn’t, right?  I mean, they’re awesome.  You can write with them…you can…ummm…write with them, and you can…ummm…write with them.  Look, they’re just cool, okay?

And the best part about pens is that sometimes, somehow, they’re inspirational.  You get a new pen, and then you have to write something with it.

It can be the feel of the ink, the color of the ink, the feel of the pen, the weight or heft, the lightness, so many different options, so many different ways to be inspired.

Now, here’s the thing.  I write horror.  Or at least I try to.  Dark humor, dark fantasy, dark SF, dark whatever.  If there’s something that goes bump, I like it.  I like to read it.  I like to write it.

One thing about those dark pieces.  Sometimes they include clowns.  Evil, evil clowns.  Stephen King knew it.  Supernatural knew it.  Everyone else knows it.  Clowns are just straight out scary and evil.

But I don’t know that Lego knew it.  You see, Lego came out with a new line of pens.  They are the Lego mini-figs, but different.  Their heads pop off, and they are pens.

It’s not scary enough that you’re beheading a beloved Lego character.  No, you can behead a clown and write with his head.  Oh yeah.  We’re talking about a pen that just oozes terror and horror and begs you to pick it up and write about something like, ooooh, let’s say, a CLOWN, coming to kill you.  Because, honestly, why else would Lego have made this pen?

So go get your Lego clown pens…and let the clowns begin their reign of terror.  All hail our Lego clown overlords!

Getting scarier...
Getting scarier…

Not very comfortable with this...
Not very comfortable with this…
Oh My God It's Scary!!
Oh My God It’s Scary!!

I Dreamed My Teeth Fell Out


Really.  It was like I would just be sitting there, and then I’d feel something, and I’d put my hand in my mouth and another tooth would have come loose and dropped out.  It seemingly kept going – and I kept feeling more and more empty places in my mouth.

Being the absolutely brilliant human that I am, the minute I woke up, I knew that I was not alone in that dream.  It’s one of the common shared dreams, like falling or having to go to the bathroom.  (Although I must say that I almost prefer the having to go to the bathroom dream – at least then once you wake up, everything is better.)  But this dream stuck with me, and so I had to go do my dream research.  Or get someone else to do it for me, anyway.

And it turns out that dreaming about your teeth falling out has to do with anxiety and changes, according to most sources.  Which makes perfect sense when you know that I just got back from Borderlands Press Bootcamp on Sunday night.

I knew I was in for a good weekend – or at least an interesting one – when on the first night, we were told we would either learn how to become published writers or we would learn that we wanted to write as a hobby.  And that while they couldn’t each us how to write, they could sure tell us how not to write.  It was a weekend full of helpful suggestions and lots and lots of information.  Of course, just because people are encouraging doesn’t mean that they want to encourage you.  The whole “you show such promise” and “I can really hear your voice” and often said in order to cover up the “but there’s no plot” or perhaps the “have you even taken an English class? ever?”

But even taking everything with about as much salt as you might find around the side of a margarita, I decided that I was in it for the long haul.  I came home ready to refine my work and send it out again and again and again.

My dream teeth, however, seem to have had a different viewpoint as they took to the hills after this personal revelation.  So we’ll see who’s right – me or my teeth.