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Scary clowns are even scarier when their heads pop off…

Lego Pen - Only Kind of Scary So Far...
Lego Pen – Only Kind of Scary So Far…

I’m addicted to pens.  Who isn’t, right?  I mean, they’re awesome.  You can write with them…you can…ummm…write with them, and you can…ummm…write with them.  Look, they’re just cool, okay?

And the best part about pens is that sometimes, somehow, they’re inspirational.  You get a new pen, and then you have to write something with it.

It can be the feel of the ink, the color of the ink, the feel of the pen, the weight or heft, the lightness, so many different options, so many different ways to be inspired.

Now, here’s the thing.  I write horror.  Or at least I try to.  Dark humor, dark fantasy, dark SF, dark whatever.  If there’s something that goes bump, I like it.  I like to read it.  I like to write it.

One thing about those dark pieces.  Sometimes they include clowns.  Evil, evil clowns.  Stephen King knew it.  Supernatural knew it.  Everyone else knows it.  Clowns are just straight out scary and evil.

But I don’t know that Lego knew it.  You see, Lego came out with a new line of pens.  They are the Lego mini-figs, but different.  Their heads pop off, and they are pens.

It’s not scary enough that you’re beheading a beloved Lego character.  No, you can behead a clown and write with his head.  Oh yeah.  We’re talking about a pen that just oozes terror and horror and begs you to pick it up and write about something like, ooooh, let’s say, a CLOWN, coming to kill you.  Because, honestly, why else would Lego have made this pen?

So go get your Lego clown pens…and let the clowns begin their reign of terror.  All hail our Lego clown overlords!

Getting scarier...
Getting scarier…

Not very comfortable with this...
Not very comfortable with this…
Oh My God It's Scary!!
Oh My God It’s Scary!!
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Boston

When I was a kid, no one ever knew what to give me as a present. They all knew I liked to read, though. So I would get books. Like the kind you would buy in bulk or find on the remainder table. Because it was too hard to ask what I liked to read. And people assumed that I would just read anything.

Well, yeah, they were right. I would read anything. One year, I got a book called “The Girl Who Wanted to Run the Boston Marathon.” And, it turned out, it was about lupus. (Yes, yes, I know, it’s *never* lupus. This time it was.) So the whole book was a massive downer. The girl was really a twenty-something woman, healthy as could be, who suddenly develops lupus and winds up in the hospital. And while she’d been prepping and ready to run the marathon, she’s stopped by this disease. But it all seems to be getting better, and she’s thinking she can run it, when, about ten pages from the end, she suddenly slips into delirium, becomes convinced the hospital is one fire, and jumps from the window, killing herself. And, yes, this was a YA novel. (Anyone else ever read it?)

Why am I thinking about that? I think you all know why. Because when tragedy strikes, it often reminds us of something else. And I mean no disrespect to the dead and wounded of the Boston marathon. I’m not comparing them to this fictional character who had a tragedy. But we so often connect to events through fiction, and to me, this book is the Boston marathon incident. It’s something that should have been good, but instead turned into tragedy. In the case of the book, it was something that just happened – in real life, someone made it happen. But is it really all that different?

So far, no one has claimed responsibility for the bombing. It’s just a random act of violence. Something that was inflicted against innocent people who were just going about their day, or in some cases, participating in something “bigger” than themselves.

I didn’t hear about it when it first happened. I was in meetings all day, and then someone came in and asked, “Did you hear about the Boston marathon?” And I could guess from her face that it was not exactly good news. But I hadn’t gathered how bad it was until I got back to my hotel room and could actually watch it on the news, see how horrific it was.

So while my heart and my thoughts go out to the people involved, I don’t want to say anything else about it beyond that because I don’t want the people responsible to get the pleasure of reading about the affect of their actions. I don’t think they should get to know how it makes people feel, beyond the physical suffering they can see. They can make us feel the suffering, but they can’t get my feelings to bolster their ideology.

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Buy my book!

ImageThey roll in from unknown places, mysterious and unexplained. They take root, take over, spread to all corners and refuse to be eradicated. no one can say why they came, but there’s no arguing that they’re up to no good. These plants are out for blood, and getting rid of them will take a certain kind of hero – the best kind.

 

Twenty-five tales of evil weeds to entertain, enthrall and change the way you look at the unwelcome invaders in your lawn. From feral tumbleweeds to ravenous seaweed, from alien life forms to migrating asteroid fields, in these pages you will find fairy tales and weird westerns, space romps and chilling horror stories.

 

Scary or silly, wicked or wily, these plants are here to stay.

Amazon print version: http://www.amazon.com/Wandering-Weeds-Tales-Rabid-Vegetation/dp/1481158767/

Amazon Kindle ebook version: http://www.amazon.com/Wandering-Weeds-Tales-Vegetation-ebook/dp/B00AHGKUUM/