A dozen ideas for Father’s Day for those of us who aren’t rolling in it

Father's Day TieI love reading the ‘Style’ section of the Sunday paper. Each week, I look forward to seeing what I can’t afford but what I should be breaking the 10th Commandment by looking at. They are kind enough to cover what girls should spend on their prom dresses (hint: hundreds of dollars, not including their purses and shoes) and then show how much people upgrade their homes and pay what could be considered a year’s salary for most of America in order to make their living rooms look even more sterile.

But I digress.

This weekend, the paper was kind enough to include ‘A Dozen Ideas for Father’s Day 2015.”

  1. $600 boots
  2. $200 sunglasses
  3. $3,500 watch
  4. $200 to $400 cologne
  5. $65 bow tie
  6. $40 shaving kit
  7. $300 ‘emulsion’ to ‘[hydrate] a dull, dry face’
  8. $50 hat
  9. $200 shoes
  10. $70 swim trunks
  11. $750 briefcase
  12. $250 Fit Bit

Okay, admittedly, two of the items were $50 or less, so I suppose that you don’t truly need to be rolling in it to purchase those. But for what you get – a cheesy fedora or a shaving kit – I can’t help but think that the money might be better spent.

I decided to go ahead and come up with my own dozen ideas for those of us who read the style guide and giggle.

Here it is – ‘A Dozen Ideas for Father’s Day 2015 When You Only Have $20 to Spend’

  1. $9 Black Military Shoe & Boot Clean Kit with Tactical Travel Case
  2. $15 Twelve Superhero Pinhole Glasses
  3. $15 Classic Calculator and Calendar Watch
  4. $11 Three Pack of Axe Body Spray, Cool Metal
  5. $4 Blue Blinky Light Bow Tie
  6. $6 Microwavable Face Wax Kit
  7. $16 Menscience Eye Gel Mask
  8. $7 Stylish Retro Lion Head Shape Rivet Embellished Baseball Cap
  9. $12 Set of 12 Black Flip Flops
  10. $5 Sexy Men’s Thong Man Swimming Underwear G-Strings Comfy Mesh Gauze Swimwear (Admittedly, you do *not* want to see your father wearing these!)
  11. $5 Fanny Pack (Sample – free fanny pack, but $5 shipping cost)
  12. $10 3D Smart Pedometer Sport Bracelet Watch Step Walking Distance Calorie Counter Activity Tracker

Maybe not all my ideas were winners – or serious – but I think it shows that you can have a whole lot of fun for less than $20 and still get something good for your father. Unless your father is an asshole. Then get him this.