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Kickboxing Cult

action adult athletes battle
Photo by Coco Championship on Pexels.com

I’ve decided to try kickboxing.

No, I haven’t suffered a blow to the head. But give me time, I probably will when I start.

The thing is, I think I may have inadvertently joined a cult. I say that based on my first phone call to them.

I got their special “Think Pink!” deal where, for $9.95, I receive three classes and a pair of pink boxing gloves.

The first class is an orientation class. Apparently, as a newbie, I won’t do the full warm-up, and I’ll get someone to work with me to learn the moves. Which is cool.

But they were way too excited about it.

“We’re like family here!”

“Oh, that’s your friend who recommended us! We love here! She’s only been coming for a few weeks but everyone loves her!”

“We’re like family here!”

“You can find us right by this Mexican restaurant! But don’t eat there because it’s too good, and you’ll want to keep eating there, and then you won’t lose weight!”

“We’re like family here!”

“Class starts at 7:30! But this is your orientation, so be there promptly at 7!”

“We’re like family here!”

“You only do 45 minutes of the hours because we need time to talk to you about signing up!”

“We’re like family here!”

I’m three days out from my first class, and I’m not sure what’s going to happen. I may do great. I may pass out. I may throw up.

But I’m not going to join a cult. Unless it’s a really, really reasonably priced one.

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Exercise should not require a full-time job

Take the yacht to the kayak, baby!
Take the yacht to the kayak, baby! (Photo by Seemann @ morgueFile)

Okay, so I have to admit that I have been lazy lately and not doing as much as I should be, in terms of exercise.  Some of it is from being busy, some of it is from being tired, and some of it is just poor time management skills.  I can own up to that.  (I don’t think today can count, though – I had gotten my book and was ready to get on the exercise bike when I started having an ocular migraine and all sorts of funky symptoms…apparently, in this case, my brain was against the thought of me exercise…)

Regardless, I’m finally up and moving after a few hours of intense pain – it’s still there, but I’m moving through it and hanging out in a mostly darkened room with coffee – and I decided to read some of the Houston Chronicle.  I started going through the “Health Zone” because, see above, I wanted to get back into exercise.

And there’s an awesome little section on page K8, “Gym Bag: Kayaking: Take your workout outdoors” by Sarah Rufea.  Apparently Sarah Rufea believes in doing things the “right” way.  And by “right” way, what I mean is the, “holy crap you better hope you have a bank account that you can drain” way.

Her suggestions include:

  • Perception Carolina 12 Kayak for $850
  • Roxy Lapped One-Piece Swimsuit for $82
  • Keen Clearwater CNX Sandals for $100
  • Coach Alexa Sunglasses for $148
  • Murad Essential-C Sun Balm for $25
  • Rachel Zoe Woven Sun Hat for $125
  • Astral Buoyancy V-Eight PFD (Personal Floatation Device) for $105

So, to take that workout outdoors, it would cost you a mere $1,435.

Gosh, is that all?

Now, I realize that I’m not a Kayak fan, and I haven’t really gotten into the whole go down the river and try not to die kinda sports, but I have to think that I can find sandals for less than $100 and sun tan lotion for less than $25.  I know I can find a hat for less than $125, and PFDs for adults seem to start at $50 (although, as a safety item, there’s nothing wrong with spending a bit more than the minimum).  But $150 Coach sunglasses for Kayaking?  Really?  And when I google up some Kayaks, they seem to start around $200+.

Okay, so Kayaking isn’t a cheap hobby.  But I’m thinking I could get started for under $500 if I really, really wanted to run down the rapids (is that what you do in a Kayak?  Really, I don’t know…)

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Fool Me Once: When the Universe is Really Trying to Tell You Something

The first of...April? (Photo by dhester, morgueFile free photos)
The first of…April? (Photo by dhester, morgueFile free photos)

So when I woke up on Friday, I knew it was the 1st.  And, my addled brain told me, it was April 1st.  Somehow my mind had skipped the entire month of March, perhaps because it knew better…

Not too long ago, I began getting really interested in Buddhist teaching and philosophies and the concepts of using mindful thinking and meditation as a way of reducing stress and improving myself, the quality of my life, and the quality of the lives of those around me.  As part of this exploration, I downloaded a few apps on my phone to help me think of things differently and look at things differently.

One is “Be the Change,” which challenges you to do something to change or affect the world every day.

The other is “Transform,” which is a book by Cheri Huber (the full title of the book is “Transform Your Life: A Year of Awareness Practice).

So on March 1st, not April 1st as my brain wanted me to believe, I discovered that they had apparently been monitoring my emails and personal life because they were trying to fool me.

The “Transform” assignment was to “Today, take a look at some of the familiar, comfortable hells that plague you.”

The “Be the Change” assignment was to “Think about a healthy physical or emotional risk you’ve avoided.  If it’s something you really want…go for it.

As anyone who knows me probably already knows, my own familiar, comfortable hell is overwork and overstress.  I write daily to-do lists that something, when I sit down and figure out how long it would take to actually do everything on them, top out at 25 to 30 hours of work per day.  Definitely a hell, right?  And I’ve been doing it for years.  I fall into it so comfortably.

Well, and what have I been avoiding?  Cutting back and doing things that are healthy for me.  I have been reading “The Buddha Walks into a Bar…: A Guide to Life for a New Generation” by Lodro Rinzler, and I really want to follow the four necessities that should be achieved every day: sleeping, eating, meditating, and exercising.

Apparently, the universe has come into alignment for me, though, and even though it’s only March, I need to go for it!  I need to actually get enough sleep at night, I need to eat right, and I need to exercise and meditate every day!

Will it fix my “familiar and comfortable hell”?  I think so…