The Devil Ducky that wasn’t

spiderduck-frontspiderduck-backOkay, so lots of weird stuff.

First off, the devil ducky is not a devil ducky.

I know. I’m sad, too.

While I was giving it a good scrub to get off all the road dirt, I realized there was a spider on the back of its head. After almost freaking out, I realized it wasn’t a real spider – it was a spider printed onto it. And then, as I kept scrubbing, I saw that it had a costume on.

It’s a Spiderman ducky!

That’s not quite as cool as a devil ducky, but it’s still kinda awesome, and so I went ahead and left it on my desk.

Then, last night, Patrick was off in California, and I fell asleep to Pysch. (Don’t you judge me. It’s one of the best ever shows. You’re just jealous.)

Around 3:15, I woke up because there was a weird sound out front. The alarm was on, so I knew it wasn’t that someone had broken in. But it was a loud almost knock. I thought maybe it was just in my dream, but then I heard it again.

I grabbed my phone for light, and I wandered out into the living room.

Moronic, I know. But it was the middle of the night, and I was trying to be an adult. Mostly because, you know, I kind of am an adult.

I saw something on the floor by the front door, and I thought, “OMG THAT SPIDER IS HUGE!” and was going to go run for a huge book to toss, but then I realized it wasn’t the right shape for a spider.


Non-Dramatic Reenactment

I flashed the phone light onto it, and it was the ducky. Just sitting there. On the floor. Looking all Spiderman-like and a bit creepy because the eyes were reflecting the light.

I still have no idea what the sound was, but I’m assuming the ducky got there thanks to the love of one of the kitties. Probably George because he is evil like that. Or maybe Molly knocked it off the desk and Sammy batted it into the hall. No idea. But I couldn’t get back to sleep for a while.

Just to make sure I don’t get another middle of the night freak-out, the ducky has found his place in the cabinet instead of on my desk.

Long live Spider-ducky!





duck-for-take-1No, not from “16 Candles.” (That was the movie, right?)

Anyway, no, it was this little red devil ducky I saw by the side of the road.  It made me all sad – the poor little ducky had been abandoned! It also totally intrigued me. Who abandoned it? Why was it there?

I saw it there a bunch of times. It was in the gutter by the turn onto the feeder road for 45, right by the car dealership. It never moved. But it did get dirtier each time.

I went and got it yesterday.

I know, it’s gross and disgusting, right? But I thought it would be cool for my cabinet of curiosities. It looks weird as hell, completely worn out from all the weather it saw. And its eyes did that soul-piercing thing. Okay, maybe not soul-piercing, but still. I felt bad for it.

Did someone toss it out of their car? Was someone on a bike and it fell out of their pocket as they took that dangerous as hell corner? Was someone foolishly on foot, got hit by a car, and it went flying from their backpack? No idea.

But now I have it, and I’m going to clean it up and add it to my cabinet with all my creepy toys. Go cabinet!