No complaints!

ImageToday in the mail, I got a bracelet from my sister.  She had ordered a batch of these bracelets ages ago, and they finally showed, and she shipped mine down to me.  I had honestly forgotten about it.  It’s a plan black thin rubbery thing, and it says “no complaints” on it in raised black rubbery letters.

So, in the spirit of my bracelet, I will not complain about the following things:


  1. That I have a headache
  2. That I had to clean up cat puke and throw away one of Simon’s toys that was destroyed in the deluge
  3. That I am currently taking an antibiotic with a potential side effect of “problems sleeping” which has apparently come true for me since I’ve had three days (out of six on the drug) where I didn’t go to sleep until after 3 a.m., and on two of those days, I didn’t go to sleep until after 4 a.m.
  4. That I am still getting free English textbooks addressed to me with a school I haven’t worked with for over three years
  5. That I haven’t heard back about an email I sent two days ago to check up on a few things that were supposed to be in motion back in December (hello, DISD?)
  6. That my printer sometimes seems to take some sort of perverse pleasure in deciding what it will print and what it won’t print
  7. That the woman who did my manicure asked if I wanted an eyebrow wax and seemed very surprised that I did not, in fact, want one (screw you, too!)
  8. That I discovered that, at 3:30 in the afternoon, my to do list has about 20 hours worth of things to do still on it
  9. That I had a nightmare that someone else took my idea about a series of grammar books and published them before I did
  10. That I really don’t have that much to complain about…it’s really just little things that I should get over and move past and work on. 

One big waaaaaaaah!

We went to buy school year supplies (yeah, it’s getting to be that time of the year again!), and while we were shopping for Simon’s middle school list – and just what are “long map pencils,” anyway?? – I went ahead and found two things I wanted.

Pencil Case
Are you dizzy yet?
Pencil Case
It dares you to open it!

One – a pencil case.  I needed a new one, and for $3, what did I have to lose?  Apparently, three dollars.  The case does not open without swearing, cursing, praying, and a little bit of human sacrifice.  And then, once it’s closed up again, you have to go through all of it all over again.  I’ve already popped off the price, not thinking that this would be quite the piece of shit it is.  Sigh.  So there’s one waaaaah.

'Stache Pen!
‘Stache Pen!
Quick - to the 'stache ride!
Quick – to the ‘stache ride!

Two – an “InkWorks” (I’m calling you out, you damn crappy-assy company!) pen that claimed to let you “Flash your Stache.”  Mustache, of course.  It is a blue pen with a button, and when you press the button, it projects a mustache.  Brilliance!  Well, partial brilliance.  While the pen has no problem flashing the mustache, once you twist the ballpoint once, it stays open.  Forever.  It doesn’t matter what you do to it.  Apparently this was a single-use ballpoint.  I wouldn’t have minded so much if it had specified that or if, say, it again hadn’t cost me another $3 or $4.  So another waaaah!

All I’m saying is, I blew like $7, and right now, I have two completely non-functional items.  Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!