(No spider pictures were used/harmed in the making of this blog. If you really want to see a picture of scary spider stuff, go here. Otherwise, please look at this picture of pretty flowers that were on the property. And if you get the foolish idea of putting up a pic of spiders or sending me one, you will be dead to me. Dead.)
Apparently, changes in the weather mean changes in the number of bugs running rampant through the ashram.
I’d been doing well at following the rule about not killing or harming any living things – including bugs. (I had not been doing as well with the whole no cursing/foul/abusive language thing. Like that’s a shock to anyone.)
But when I tried to go to the bathroom that night, I got stuck at the beginning of the hall.
Before, there’d only been one large spider on the curtain covering the window at the end of the hall. I could reach either of the two bathrooms without venturing too close, and I could keep a careful eye on it to make sure it didn’t make any threatening movements.
I got to the edge of the hallway, and there were multiple spiders – okay, two – right there.
One on each side of the hallway.
Now, when I say “hallway,” I don’t mean a huge, cavernous thing. I mean a tiny little cramped can-barely-fit-two-people-passing-in-the-night kind of hall. If I were to put a foot in the center, each spider would be inches (okay, maybe 10 inches, unless you’re a guy, then it would be fourteen inches) away from touching me.
So I stood there. I stared down the hall. I stared at the potentially 24 beady eyes (did you know spiders can have up to 12 eyes each? For real?!).
The spiders held their ground.
A newcomer was sitting on the couch, and I considered asking for her help. But the little sign in the bathroom said that “ashram comes from the word shram which means effort. Therefore, the ashram is a place to put efforts to improve yourself, understand spiritual teaching and live with discipline.” It also told me that “nonviolence is the first step of the spiritual path. To be aware of all forms of life and to walk in harmony with these living beings. This includes small bugs…”
I decided to do it.
I stamped my foot at the spiders, and luckily they didn’t run at me – they ran away! I was victorious!
So I ran into the bathroom and then dashed back out.
Except then I went to my bedroom.
I guess the bugs were trying to get away from the impending storm because they were battering the hell out of my window pane, buzzing and flapping and desperately trying to get in.
It was a little one. Kinda cute. Definitely not a threat. I ignored it as it flew around and finally settled down somewhere. Out of sight, out of mind, right?
Then, out of nowhere, another bug landed on my bed.
Like an earwig with a full-blown case of roid rage.
What could I do?
I wasn’t supposed to kill it. Plus I wasn’t even sure if I could kill it. It might take my weapon and use it against me.
While I sat there motionless and stared, trying to figure out a plan to put into action to get away from the intruder, it kept exploring my bed. It wandered into my box of colored pencils. And got stuck.
I grabbed the opposite end of the box and quickly chucked the box into the main room.
I had survived and so had the…well, I have no idea what sports figure to compare it to..ummm…Pete Rose? Mike Tyson? Some guy who took steroids or was scary or something, but in bug form.
I decided that I should go to sleep and try to ignore the bugs. I put my computer on the table next to the bed, put on one of my favorite movies, and curled up.
The aforementioned “little” and “cute” bug immediately flew into my face, landing on my cheek!
I pulled my sheet over my face, trying to sleep covered from the horror, protected from any potential future insect forays, but it was too warm for that, and I eventually had to move it.
I slept with my face uncovered. No worries about zombies that night. But plenty about bugs.