Okay, so I don’t really want to reference Alice in Wonderland because I like it, but somehow I couldn’t help but think of it as a I went through all the clicks I went through to get to where I wound up.
Let me start at the beginning.
First, I found an article that wasn’t really an article. It was just a slideshow of “30 Unbelievably Inappropriate Vintage Ads.” Ad number 28 was called “Do you still beat your wife?” and went on to say “Maybe you should never have stopped. Read why in the rollicking, provocative, yet educational booklet entitled ‘Why You Should Beat Your Wife’ written by an eminent practitioner of this manly art.” It cost only 15 cents in “stamps or coin.”
Obviously, I needed a copy of this pamphlet. Really, who doesn’t?
I tried to find one and buy it. I checked with all the out of print places I know that might happen to have something as odd as this, and no luck.
However…when I Googled it (because we must all Google everything), I found an awesome article from the “Mail Online” from September 2012 when Pat Robertson told a caller that he should “become a Muslim” and “move to Saudi Arabia” because then he could beat his wife. He whined because “you can’t divorce her according to the Scripture” and, as per the article, “lamented that we no longer ‘condone wife-beating.’”
Not quite what I was looking for, but it did remind me that I need to watch the 700 Club a lot more often!
Finally, I decided to go ahead and check out eBay. Ah, eBay! What don’t you have? I typed in the title of the booklet, in quotation marks, and…
Well, apparently they don’t have the booklet. However, the sponsored links that came up began with finding a lawyer and ended with finding a single Baltic lady. Hmmmm. Even more interesting was the “See also” on the left hand side where it suggested I look for “Do You Know Your Wife,” “How to Murder Your Wife,” and my personal favorite “When Your Heart Stops Beating.” I was slightly disturbed by the “It Should Happen to You.”
So if anyone has this booklet just lying around, please give me a shout! I’m desperate to be educated about this “manly art.”