I wrote this blog at the end of last week, actually, but didn’t have time to post it up until today when, ironically, this popped up on my phone:
Let us not look back in anger or forward in fear, but around in awareness. – James Thurber
First, I’m shocked that it was James Thurber, author of “Is Sex Necessary?,” that said that. But I’m also shocked because it’s a perfect segue into the topic of this blog.
So, I have now gone two Fridays in a row without what I’ve come to call my grumpy old man yoga. (See the connection to Thurber?!) I don’t call it grumpy old man yoga in a bad way. I’m actually totally thrilled with grumpy old man yoga. That’s why I’m sad to be missing it for two weeks in a row, especially because there won’t be any this Friday either due to the Thanksgiving break. Admittedly I’ve only attended grumpy old man yoga a few times, but I feel like each time I go, I get something new from it.
The last time I was there, we were doing a pose. I have no idea what the pose is called. Something with a lot of Cs or As or Ss or Vs in its name. Basically, it started in a lunge and was supposed to end with the person balancing on one foot and one hand while the other foot and hand were raised. It was hard.
Grumpy old man suggested using a yoga brick for the hand if it helped. Then he stopped and asked if the reason we were struggling was because we were worrying about the future and not being in the present. Were we already thinking about lifting that arm and leg? Or were we focused on being in the current step of the pose and our breathing?
Well, I don’t know about anyone else there, but I was totally worrying about the future and sabotaging myself. There seemed to be a contradiction, though. If we were in the present, how could we be putting out that yoga brick for the next steps?
Because it isn’t really a contradiction. There’s a difference between worrying about the future and preparing for the future. Having the yoga brick handy is like having food in the refrigerator. You’re probably going to use it. But you didn’t spend all day worrying about if you have a stick of butter. (Well, I hope you don’t!)
So why was that so important to me?
Because I worry. A lot. I’m always thinking about how something will work out or what’s going to happen next. It’s easy to get overwhelmed with the big picture without looking at the little steps and just taking one at a time. But I shouldn’t. I should prepare, sure. But I don’t need to live in the future. I need to live in the future and take everything one step at a time, being in the moment, breathing.
And the idea of the yoga brick being preparation but still being in the present has stuck with me. It crops up at the oddest times. Like shopping for Thanksgiving. Crowded store. Tons of groceries. Get them home and immediately have to log into a webinar for work before I can put away anything but the perishables. Then after the webinar, I wandered into the kitchen. A very, very full kitchen. Every counter covered with bags and Thanksgiving goodies. An overwhelming moment, if you think about putting it all away, the future moments. But if you think about each step, just put away each thing at a time, suddenly it’s done and there’s no stress.
Okay, maybe it’s something little, but it’s just one way to remember the lesson, and it’s just one way to keep applying the thoughts of grumpy old man yoga and keep it with me.