One big waaaaaaaah!

We went to buy school year supplies (yeah, it’s getting to be that time of the year again!), and while we were shopping for Simon’s middle school list – and just what are “long map pencils,” anyway?? – I went ahead and found two things I wanted.

Pencil Case
Are you dizzy yet?
Pencil Case
It dares you to open it!

One – a pencil case.  I needed a new one, and for $3, what did I have to lose?  Apparently, three dollars.  The case does not open without swearing, cursing, praying, and a little bit of human sacrifice.  And then, once it’s closed up again, you have to go through all of it all over again.  I’ve already popped off the price, not thinking that this would be quite the piece of shit it is.  Sigh.  So there’s one waaaaah.

'Stache Pen!
‘Stache Pen!
Quick - to the 'stache ride!
Quick – to the ‘stache ride!

Two – an “InkWorks” (I’m calling you out, you damn crappy-assy company!) pen that claimed to let you “Flash your Stache.”  Mustache, of course.  It is a blue pen with a button, and when you press the button, it projects a mustache.  Brilliance!  Well, partial brilliance.  While the pen has no problem flashing the mustache, once you twist the ballpoint once, it stays open.  Forever.  It doesn’t matter what you do to it.  Apparently this was a single-use ballpoint.  I wouldn’t have minded so much if it had specified that or if, say, it again hadn’t cost me another $3 or $4.  So another waaaah!

All I’m saying is, I blew like $7, and right now, I have two completely non-functional items.  Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!

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