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I Miss Maurice Sendak!

Kate at the library in 1980! (She’s the one in blue…)

I learned to read when I was four.  Maybe five.  But only if you count comic books.  I refused to be taught how to read by my mother, regardless of her best attempts.  My logic, which I still hold true to this day, is that I didn’t know how to read, so how could she teach me?  (It’s the same reason I still can’t swim…but I can do a mean float, especially if I have those little blow-up arm thingies…)

For a while there, I could tell you what was in every panel of a Batman comic when the bad guys were getting hit.  Pow! Bam! Wham!  Because, honestly, what more did you need to read in a Batman comic?

But eventually, that wasn’t enough, and I learned to read real books.  The first book I remember reading by myself was not by Maurice Sendak, though.  I don’t even remember the title or author.  All I remember was that I won it at a birthday party for some game, and I brought it home and decided that I was going to read it since it was mine.  I underlined all the hard words with a pencil, and I read it, asking for help and looking up the words that I didn’t know.  (You know, all the ones that hadn’t appeared in the Batman comics…)

That’s probably when it started, although even before then, I loved books.  I remember going to the library, where we would go to the “secret room,” hidden in the bookshelves of the children’s department, where story time was held.  (I even remember the time that my mother lost track of time and left me there while she was off reading a book in another part of the library, and she came back to a crying child who was absolutely sure she had been abandoned…ah, the days before cell phones!)

Anyway, what’s my point?  My point is that once I learned to read, I didn’t stop.  I loved reading.  I still love reading.  And Maurice Sendak was a part of that love.  I loved Max.  I loved the “wild rumpus.”  And while I may not have read the book for a few years now, I still love it.  And when my son is ready for it, he’ll love it, too…

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Oh Allegra and CVS – Why Do You Hate Me So?

Or is it that I hate you?

Yes, yes, I think that’s it.

I hate Allegra and CVS.  Which is really sad because, until yesterday, I liked them.

Well, I wasn’t that crazy about CVS, but I have been taking Allegra for an allergy for ages now, and it’s bloody awesome.  And now I have to find another allergy medicine.  Because of something they did.

http://theallergymakeover.com/

It’s “The Allergy Makeover.”  As per their website – “Learn a not-so-obvious beauty secret…”  Hmmm.  My allergy medicine wants to give me beauty tips?  Really?  Well, okay…

If you go to the website and enter the contest, first you’re asked to “Select a model.”  I went with the Asian-looking one – she had the best smile. 

The next page – “Glamour Level: Don’t Look at Me!” and I’m supposed to use “Cucumber Slices” to make her look better.  Because, the message is (from what I can tell), that I’m not supposed to look bad, even if I have allergies. 

I try to put the cucumber slices in her mouth, but it tells me that they aren’t doing much for her “puffy eyes.”  The poor model!

So I go to the next page.

Now it’s time to use the eye drops because, I’m still at the “Glamour Level: Don’t Look at Me!”

I take the eye drops and try to put them in her hair.  Why not – a bit of moisture never hurt, right?

Wow, thanks to that “help,” her “Glamour Level” is now “You’re Getting Some Stares.”  And from the fact that I have “bad news” at the bottom of the page telling me that my poor model’s nose is “redder than ever,” I have to assume they’re the bad stares of an unattractive woman. 

Finally, I’m told to use Allegra!

Now she’s updated to “Glamour Level: Red Carpet Ready.”  Oh, thank god, Allegra.  Thanks to you, Allegra will now help “keep her allergies from getting in the way of her beauty.”

Oh Allegra, thank you, thank you, thank you!  I have been so worried that my feeling like crap would somehow make me less attractive, and what do we have if we don’t have our looks?  We are, after all, just women.

I don’t know who the genius is behind this marketing campaign, but I sure hope they’re enjoying their awesome flash game full of insults because I know I’m not.