Do you want fries with that?

Crazy Old West Image(s): FreeDigitalPhotos.net
Crazy Old West Image(s): FreeDigitalPhotos.net

I don’t know if I really want to sound like a crazy 1840s prospector, or like an old guy yelling at some young punk to get off my lawn, but I think I’m just going to have to this time.

Why don’t people know how to bag groceries?

It’s not that complex a skill.  Really.

Here’s the problem: I learned how to bag groceries when I was a kid.  The rule in my house was that if I wanted anything from the grocery store, I had to do three things:

1. Go to the grocery store with my father.
2. Say hello to people (since I was painfully shy).
3. Bag the groceries.

So I’ve been bagging groceries for a long, long time.

Yet fully grown adults with no visible disabilities (hey, you gotta give some people a break) seem to have no clue how to put items that have been purchased in bags – doesn’t matter if those bags are cloth re-usable bags or plastic – not quite meant for re-using but perfect as packing material.

Anyway, the basic rules I’d like them to learn are these:

  1. More than one thing can go in a bag.  It’s true!
  2. Bread and eggs are fragile. They can go together.  But the bread should be on top, and you should not include a flat of single-serve apple juice cartons in between said bread and eggs.
  3. Some fruit and veg is more durable.  In the case of raspberries, however, watermelon *should not* be placed on top as it is slightly heavier and has a tendency to crush the poor little raspberries before they can be eaten.
  4. If you have a problem lifting the bag to put it into the cart, why do you think I will be able to carry that bag from the garage and into the kitchen without it ripping open?  (See rule 1, but not to an extreme.)

Seriously now, while at the grocery store, I managed to break a nail and stab myself with my pencil, but somehow the most painful part was when I got home and saw that they had put my watermelon on top of my raspberries, crushing them.

I’m beginning to think that next time I go to the store, I’m going to be the crazy lady who refuses to let the baggers touch my groceries and do it all myself, holding up the line.  Cause while I may be totally crazy, at least I know how to put food into bags.

(Image from: www.FreeDigitalPhotos.net)

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