Or is it that I hate you?
Yes, yes, I think that’s it.
I hate Allegra and CVS. Which is really sad because, until yesterday, I liked them.
Well, I wasn’t that crazy about CVS, but I have been taking Allegra for an allergy for ages now, and it’s bloody awesome. And now I have to find another allergy medicine. Because of something they did.
It’s “The Allergy Makeover.” As per their website – “Learn a not-so-obvious beauty secret…” Hmmm. My allergy medicine wants to give me beauty tips? Really? Well, okay…
If you go to the website and enter the contest, first you’re asked to “Select a model.” I went with the Asian-looking one – she had the best smile.
The next page – “Glamour Level: Don’t Look at Me!” and I’m supposed to use “Cucumber Slices” to make her look better. Because, the message is (from what I can tell), that I’m not supposed to look bad, even if I have allergies.
I try to put the cucumber slices in her mouth, but it tells me that they aren’t doing much for her “puffy eyes.” The poor model!
So I go to the next page.
Now it’s time to use the eye drops because, I’m still at the “Glamour Level: Don’t Look at Me!”
I take the eye drops and try to put them in her hair. Why not – a bit of moisture never hurt, right?
Wow, thanks to that “help,” her “Glamour Level” is now “You’re Getting Some Stares.” And from the fact that I have “bad news” at the bottom of the page telling me that my poor model’s nose is “redder than ever,” I have to assume they’re the bad stares of an unattractive woman.
Finally, I’m told to use Allegra!
Now she’s updated to “Glamour Level: Red Carpet Ready.” Oh, thank god, Allegra. Thanks to you, Allegra will now help “keep her allergies from getting in the way of her beauty.”
Oh Allegra, thank you, thank you, thank you! I have been so worried that my feeling like crap would somehow make me less attractive, and what do we have if we don’t have our looks? We are, after all, just women.
I don’t know who the genius is behind this marketing campaign, but I sure hope they’re enjoying their awesome flash game full of insults because I know I’m not.