Our Lady of Perpetual Motion

Image © Can Stock Photo Inc. / creatistaBecause it wasn’t bad enough that I spent 5 miserable years there, Our Lady of Sorrows (or, as any good George Carlin fan would call it, Our Lady of Perpetual Motion), is now kind enough to send their “Sorrow Scoops.”  (Seriously, who thought that was a good name?  It sounds like ice cream that would make you cry.) 

Anyway, so they send me this alumni pamphlet, and they don’t even spell my name right.  Talk about adding insult to injury.  It’s not like my name is hard to spell.  Katherine.  Easy, right?  Okay, not that easy.  I’ve seen it spelled plenty of other ways – Katharine, Kathryn.  Allowable options.  But Kathering?  WTF is that?

And the fact that they didn’t bother to catch it tells me that they are the same as ever.  They don’t care.  They never did.

Their little tag line claims that they have been providing students “…with a safe, structured and caring environment in which to grow, both academically and spiritually…”  Wow.  The stories I could tell.  If they considered any of the time I spent there “safe, structured, or caring…”

I’ll just tell one story for now.  Just one.  But I think it’s an excellent illustration of why I want to save up a stack of the pamphlets until I can use them to start a fire.

In fourth grade, the first year I was there, some other students watched Saturday Night Live and learned the terms “lezzy.”  Since my sister and I were foolish enough to still be friends and want to hold hands, we were called “lezzy.”  (Looking back, there’s perhaps another term they should have used, but no one said they were intelligent…)  Needless to say, things escalated because the school had no idea how to handle bullying.  When it finally got bad enough, they came up with a brilliant solution.  Rather than actually handle the people responsible for the bullying, they would punish the entire floor – the 4th and 5th grade classes that my sister and I were in.  So instead of recess, we all had to stand in the hall. 

Yes, you read that right, “we.”  My sister and I were included in the punishment.  For being bullied?  For reporting it?  For being miserable with their “safe, structured, and caring environment”?

Whatever their brilliant reasoning was, it was only the beginning of a horrible period of my life, and I while I should probably just get over it, every time I get one of their little “isn’t our school wonderful” Sorrow Scoops, I’m only reminded of everything bad about them.


2 thoughts on “Our Lady of Perpetual Motion

  1. When I told my co-worker, who happens to be our school’s anti-bullying specialist, the story of us being called “lezzy” and chased around the parking lot/playground she is mortified. They really handled everything so badly. When I think of those times, I feel so sad for the 5th grade “us.”

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