Sometimes you’re the fish eggs…and sometimes you’re the corpse

Russia had two “finds” over the past week. 

First, they followed someone home and discovered that he had, indeed, been removing women from their graves.  And turning them into really, really creepy dolls.  Yeah, the video pretty much says it all.  And the best part is that he was a history professor before he became a doll maker.  Or maybe during?  I really want to know what kind of comments he made on his students’ papers…

To return to the topic at hand, though, the second find was a cache of caviar in the spot where there should have been a cache or corpses.  Yes, a hospital morgue was apparently helping store some caviar that was apparently intended for a holiday party.   If I was an employee there, I think I might begin to bring all my own food and drink from home.

But, regardless, the point is this:
In one case, the find was something valuable in someplace you wouldn’t expect it.  In the other case, it was something truly creepy in someplace…well, truly creepy.  I’ll let you decide which is which.


Irony is not just the opposite of wrinkly…or is it?

At least, not here in League City. (And, yeah, I do consider myself a League City resident even though my mailing address and school district isn’t part of it. But my tax base and services are, so I kind of think they’re stuck with me.)

Anyway, to get back onto the topic that I hinted at up there in the title of this blog, there is definitely just a hint of irony in the air this month. That’s because of a recent news story about a League City district clerk who pled guilty to a domestic violence charge.

By itself, it’s not really anything more than tragic. Just another abusive relationship perpetrated by someone who I wind up supporting in a roundabout way with my taxes. But it’s more than just that, for anyone who just happened to be paying attention to local news.   Because, you see, in March of 2010, League City applied for a grant to get a social worker who would be able to follow up on domestic violence calls.  Then, in October of 2010, League City actually hired the social worker.  It made the news and everything – the 193% increase in cases of “family violence” between 2009 and 2010, the Family Services Unit that would be set up to help, and how other programs like this had been going on for 10 years.

So, let’s go over this again.  The headline for our local news on December 28 was that our League City district clerk pled guilty to striking his wife in order to avoid jail time, and that he paid a measly $372 and will have two years of probation under deferred adjudication. 

Irony? Wrinkly?  You decide…



Too Fat To Ride the Dinosaur

The sad part of aging – you eat the same, but your metabolism slows down.  And it’s not just that – it’s less movement and more buying your own groceries.  But let’s just blame it on the metabolism. 

Somehow over the years, I gained weight.  And then, I lost it.  Awesome.

Then I got laid off, stressed out, and, well, fat.  Again.

Now I need to fix it again.  Especially because at the mall the other day, I discovered that I was too fat to ride the dinosaur.

No, that’s not a euphemism.  I’m being serious.  At the Katy Mills Mall, there is a dinosaur that you can ride.  Yeah, yeah, it’s not real.  But it has a saddle, and you can climb up and get a picture.  Well, *you* can, but I can’t.  I need to lose 10 pounds first. 

So there’s New Year’s Resolution number one.  Ride the dinosaur.