The Sales Call

I’ve applied for jobs.  Lots of job.  *Lots* of jobs.  Lots, lots, lots of job.

So when I got a call yesterday from a company about a trainer position, it wasn’t outside the realm of possibility that I’d actually sent my resume in.  But the guy wasn’t specific enough; he made it sound like there were too many types of jobs open, and he was awful smooth for an HR guy.  And, honestly, he gave what sounded like a tag line for a skeezy get-rich-quick scheme.

I went ahead and made the appointment for the interview, though, just in case, and then I went home and Googled the company.

And, wow, I’m not naming any names, but there were a number of complaints with the BBB and MLM accusations.  Some people defended them, but I couldn’t find any reliable sources that gave the defense – and, for all I know, the defenders were people within the company themselves.  The only reliable sources seemed to speak against them.

Now, I’m hoping that everyone reading this knows what an MLM is – it’s Multi-Level Marketing, also known as a pyramid scheme/scam.  It works by getting new people to constantly invest in a product that it mostly (or completely) useless and worthless, letting the existing investors profit.  The problem, of course, is that it falls apart when there aren’t new investors.

Probably my favorite example of a MLM was in an episode of King of Queens.  Doug foolishly bought into the neighbor’s business – selling water filters.  But it’s not by selling water filters that he’d get rich; it would be by selling the licenses to sell the filter that he would get rich.  The water filter was immaterial.

Doug quickly learned that no one else wanted to buy a license, and no one even wanted to buy the filters.  (And after using one for a week, he discovered that it turned the water black.)  He was out the cash, and the neighbors moved away in the middle of the night.  Whoops.

But anyway, back to my point…

After looking up all this information, I wasn’t going on the “interview” (read: sales call).  But I still have this horrible case of politeness that I haven’t been able to kick yet, and so I called to cancel.  And got my sales call anyway.

“Listen, I have no idea if we make over $40 worth of long distance calls to Chattanooga each month…”  (Ten points to Gryffindor for anyone who can ID that movie quote!)

The guy tried to tell me how anything I’d found through Google was not legitimate, how they were a great company, and how I’d be able to work for them while working for myself!  How great would that be?!  And why didn’t I want it – just because I didn’t want a non-traditional job? <Scoff!>  Of course I did want one!  Wasn’t that what everyone wanted?  He sure wanted one for me, and for the rest of America, which is what they wanted to do – help people! Didn’t I want to help people??

I hung up.  Politeness can only go so far, and I don’t think I’ve ever had such a hard sell before in my life. The guy put used car salesmen to shame.

So, maybe I don’t have a full-time job yet, but I also don’t have any water filter licenses to unload…

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