Maybe I just look for symbolism too much in my life. I acknowledge that I analyze and overanalyze everything – the curse of being an English teacher, I suppose. And maybe, just maybe, I’m doing it again. Y’all can be the judge of that.
Waaaay back in December, when I got the news of the layoff, it came at what I’d like to call a seriously inopportune time. Three weeks before Christmas.
But that wasn’t all. The night before the layoff, I’d gone out and bought (pre-purchased, actually), an iPhone4 to replace my two plus year old iPhone3G. Not even a 3GS. That old.
So when I go the phone call the next morning, the first thing I decided to do was return the phone. It wasn’t necessary, and since I hadn’t actually laid hands on it, it seemed like a really obvious return. Save a few hundred dollars so Christmas wasn’t ruined? Yeah, I was all for that.
In my brain, the two things became linked: getting laid off, and getting an iPhone4. (What worse advertising could anyone come up with? “Get an iPhone4 and a termination call all at the same time!”)
Here comes the whining and pathetic-ness. (Yes, that is now a word.)
I’m finally getting a refurb one, thanks to a bit of extra cash coming my way, and I worry that it will just serve as a constant reminder of failure. It’s bad enough I look at other people’s phones, so will getting my own make it worse or better?
Not having one and seeing them has been a totally expected (and still unexpected) kick in the guts. It’s the same feeling as when I got the phone call and the “involuntary separation” from my job. (God, I love HR speak!)
I hate to sound totally shallow and materialistic, but, well, on some level, I am.
But, hey, we live, we learn, blah blah blah all that feel good stuff.
Kate's Blog 